All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
