She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
