I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
