If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
