No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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