She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
3pm strippers are depressing
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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