So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
