"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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