Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
