i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I love you. Go after that dick
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
