can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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