i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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