She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
