Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
