Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
3pm strippers are depressing
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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