When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
