he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
