Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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