chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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