All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
