Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she was so not down for the gang bang
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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