don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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