he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
