it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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