it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You can't special order awesome
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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