Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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