Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize