What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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