He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
