I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
