I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
