we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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