she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize