Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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