I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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