Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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