'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
