As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
