yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
