My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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