yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
