You're so nebulous sometimes
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Betty ford says i'm here all night
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
