Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
50% drunk capacity currently
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
