Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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