You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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