I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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