If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
