I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize