Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
