Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You made out with two different species that night
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize