You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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