He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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