I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
