Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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