You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Non-Jews are for practice
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
