Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
