My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
