That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
