why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
