The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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