I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize