after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
