I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
