don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
